Nope. You Don't Have to Smile.

 

Sometimes you smile because if you don't, you fear that someone will ask you why you're not. It's just "easier". ⁠

Saying, “I’m fine” or, “I’m good!” when you’re far from it is how you keep things running. You have this ongoing sense that you don’t have time to explain why you're not.⁠

But what if, every now and then, someone asked because they genuinely wanted to know? What if you’re so used to saying, “I’m okay,” that you can’t even recognize what it looks like when someone is reaching out to help?⁠

You aren’t obligated to pretend things are dandy 24/7. Even when other people tell you to "smile". It's okay to have emotions, difficulties, bad days, rough patches etc. ⁠

You can actually decide not to put on a brave face some times. You've already proven that you can be strong, that you're brave.⁠

How are you at being vulnerable?⁠

That's a very different kind of brave. ⁠

 

All Vibes Welcome

 

"Positive vibes only".  "Smile".  "Think Positive".  "Don't worry".  "Relax".  "Calm down".⁠

If only being told to "calm down" actually helped with that.⁠

Am I right?⁠

Quite the opposite for me, in fact.  When I'm in a tizzy there's nothing quite as effective as hearing "you need to calm down" to bring me into a full fledged RAGE.⁠

Of course, I'd be bringing myself into the rage.  It would have little to do with your words.  It would have nothing to do with them, in fact.⁠

Because you saying these phrases and words to me doesn't create my experience.  I create my experience.  Feelings of calmness, rage, or anything else don't come from your words.  They come from my thoughts.  The same way you telling me to "calm down" doesn't make that so, it also doesn't make it not so.⁠

That's on me.  This is often what we  miss.⁠

This is the point.⁠

All of that to say, telling someone not to feel their feelings doesn't work. Even when the intent is "good".⁠

The truth is, I get to decide if I like the reasons I'm feeling whatever it is I'm feeling.  I can choose what I want to think and feel.⁠

I get to choose what to go all in on, what to feel the heck out of.  Based upon my experience, my thoughts, my beliefs, my boundaries.  It's actually the only way.⁠

You can too. ⁠

I help people with this.  Then we apply it to career.  We create a container for you to store the confusion, the spinning and the stuck in.  Then you start making decisions based on reasons that you choose.  ⁠

So bring all your vibes.  They're all welcome.  ⁠

Set up a call with me and we'll each share our thoughts.⁠

 

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