When you're trying to make a change, the tendency can be to think not so nice thoughts about yourself sometimes. Like when you just can't seem to get something "right" or the new thing feels awkward, or weird. It can really suck.
You might think "why can't I just get it right?".
Normalizing the struggle can be really helpful. For instance replacing "why can't I get it right" with "of course I can't get it right!". Of course it feels weird and freaky.
Try thinking of change as having to learn to write, dress, eat, do your hair etc. with your non-dominant hand. Obviously it would also be kinda freaky at first. Probably for quite awhile. You'd expect it to be though, wouldn't you? You might give yourself a bit of grace even because you're having to unlearn a behaviour and replace it with a new one.
But one day, without thinking, you just write your name, get dressed, eat, do your hair and don't really think twice about it.
So, yeah. Change...it's like that.
You have to give yourself grace, time, and space to do it in your way, in your time.
There’s hardly ever just one way. Why can we be so hard pressed to believe otherwise?
There's always going to be someone with an opinion. Take our current circumstances. Time and time again I see the posts that seem to advocate productivity over rest and the posts that say exactly the opposite.
It's never about the action itself, only how it makes you feel.
Bake the bread if you want to. Rest if you want to. Do both if that works for you. Become a minimalist or live joyfully amongst rooms filled with things. Make lists or fly by the seat of your pants. Do both if it works for you.
Let me say it again, it’s less about the activity itself and more about what you make it mean.
None of this stuff makes any of us morally “better” or “worse”. Stay up late and sleep late, go to bed early and rise early. Try it all. See what works. For YOU.
For goodness sakes, nobody’s doing it perfectly. Maybe perfect for them. Maybe not. Probably they’re just trying to figure it out too.
You gotta do you.
I'm here to help you figure yourself out. I've been doing it for 2 decades. I offer free consultations. Book yours.