When you have a problem you want to solve, you feel stuck when you can't come up with an answer. So you try to brainstorm different answers to it. Things that could possibly work to solve it. All you can think of now are all the reasons why any answer you can come up with to solve your problem won't work for one reason or another. You don't actually believe in any of the potential solutions to your problem. Your brain thinks the problem is unsolvable. You feel completely blocked.
This is an awful feeling.
You're not going to solve your problem this way. How do I know? Because when you're not able to solve a problem you identify, it's not because there isn't an answer, it's because you're asking the wrong questions and probably even trying to solve the wrong problem. Take a look at all the answers you've come up with to solve your problem. You've already told yourself they won't work.
So, try this:
Go down your list of possible solutions and ask yourself why. Why won't they work? Then answer. Then ask why again. If you do this enough you'll have one answer common to each of your questions. You can also try asking yourself "What if..." What if the obstacle I perceive isn't? What if I what I believe to be true isn't? What would that mean?
Rather than always trying to solve a problem, take some time to get curious about it instead. Try asking questions instead of always seeking solutions. Sometimes this is what's necessary to help you identify the real problem you need to solve. This is the kind of stuff I do with people every day. Schedule a call with me to learn more about my approach.
Are you trying to solve the right problem?
When you believe you have a problem and are trying to solve it, make sure the problem you're trying to solve is actually the right one.
If you're trying to get something "over there" in an attempt to feel better, it's the wrong problem.
How do I know? I know because once you get what you want, you won't feel better. At least not long-term.
You have to learn to feel better first. Always.
A bi-product of feeling better first is that you'll get what you want that's "over there" more easily also. You might find that you no longer want or need it though.
I see this all the time with folks who are unhappy. They think it's because of their job so they want a new one.
Not..so...fast. It's fine to want a new job. There are plenty of reasons why I help people do this. You might want more money, more of a challenge, to make more of an impact. These are not the things you need to feel better though. You'll get them and then beat yourself up about not being happy because now you have them but you actually feel worse. These are the things you say you need to feel better because you don't want to feel or talk about the real things.
So, ask yourself good questions and solve the right problem.
Remember, I can teach you how.