If you replayed your actions over the last day, week, or month how much would they reflect what matters to you?
This is about curiosity. It's not about "I should do more of this" or "I should do more of that" or "I'm lazy" or "there's something wrong with me". Those are all perfectly possible things that will pop into your head though. That's okay. Remind yourself those thoughts are nonsense. What you've done up to now has served you just fine in some way. There's no big problem here.
You see, this isn't about "right" or "wrong". We sure do like to make things into that though right? Not this time. This time we're going to use some curious compassion. Yup, we'll get curious but always from a lens of self compassion. ALWAYS. Like you're not actually watching your own activities but perhaps the activities of someone else, perhaps even a child. Teach yourself the way you would teach them. You wouldn't berate them, call them names or shame them thinking this was a healthy way to change. So, why then would it be a healthy way for you?
See what you notice. Become aware of your actions. You might notice "Hmmm, I've had that book on my night table for 3 weeks and haven't opened it yet. Do I want to?" or "I notice that I've been scrolling a lot in the afternoon, feeling very tired. It's feeling hard to concentrate and focus. Interesting." "Interesting, I've been avoiding making that phone call, what is it I'm trying not to feel here?"
Just pay attention for now. Practice thinking about what you want and need. Shower yourself with compassion and understanding and try to refocus judgment if you can.
Give it a try. I know, it might not feel so easy. That's okay. Remind yourself you know how to be curious. Remind yourself you know how to show yourself compassion.
Let me know how it goes. Find me over on Instagram!